


Acoustic

by way1203



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Because these characters deserve a happy moment, Cooking, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fun, Happy Ending, Inspired by Music, Klaus starts it, Singing, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28684401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/way1203/pseuds/way1203
Summary: "Wait, Five, does this mean you don't knowMr. Brightside?""Mr.Whom?"In which the Hargreeves siblings realize that Five has missed out on a lot of music.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Allison Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Ben Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Diego Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Luther Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) & Everyone
Comments: 12
Kudos: 96





	Acoustic

**Author's Note:**

> This came about shortly after watching S2 when I found myself dancing to an old jam of mine from high school and realizing that Five would've missed that song. I wrote their reactions as more music played that Five would've also missed. I started this in October as a bit of writer's block exercise since I don't usually write these kind of fics, and I needed something to make myself smile. Things got a bit out of hand, what was supposed to be a few paragraphs spiraled, and this became a full fic. 
> 
> After sitting on it for a few months, I'm posting it! As always, I hope you like this as much as I liked writing it. This fic is all in good fun and I didn't take myself or my writing as seriously as I usually do when working on this piece. The full song list and credits are at the end. 
> 
> This takes place in a post S1 timeline where they made it back to 2019, stopped the apocalypse with no repercussions, and they're living their lives.

It began with something innocuous. Allison and Luther sat playing cards at the table, occasionally slapping down hands or letting quiet ha!'s, while Vanya sat with her sheet music, looking over notations she made among the staves and marking accidentals she'd missed during practice. Five, on the other hand, sat perched on a stool at the island counter reading a book, another from a stack of ones he hadn't found during the apocalypse. Diego practiced in an adjacent room.

Klaus stood at the stove, stirring something that started as spaghetti sauce but was quickly becoming something more akin to goulash as he tossed ingredients in the pot. His quiet humming crescendoed when suddenly he blurted, " _Baggy sweatpants and the Reebok's with the straps_!"

Without missing a beat, Allison, Luther, and even Vanya cried, " _With the straps!_ "

Diego, having missed the line, poked his head in the room. Grinning at his siblings, sang, " _She turned around and gave that big booty a smack_!"

Klaus smiled in return, as did the others, save for Five who looked beyond confused at both the impromptu song and the lyrics. Of course, it was at that moment that Klaus felt it necessary to manifest Ben. Their other siblings looked on as Klaus pointed to him with expectation, waggling his eyebrows and fingers, urging their now corporeal brother to finish the next lyric.

Ben knew the song from following Klaus into literally every club within a thirty-mile radius as a spirit shortly after his death, and Klaus knows he knows it, if his grin is any indication. He sighed and deadpanned, " _She hit the flo'_."

Allison and Vanya laughed while Diego clapped with a nod of approval. Luther looked surprised but chuckled despite himself. Five remained still, eyes wide and eyebrows scrunched tight.

" _Next thing you know_!" Klaus raised his hands.

The rest of the siblings followed with, " _Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low_ —"

Five slammed his book down. "What the hell is wrong with all of you? What song is _that_? Why do you all know it?"

At that moment, each of the Hargreeves siblings realized that, in missing seventeen years, Five missed _a lot_ of music, including this particular earworm from 2007. But of course, in true Hargreeves Family fashion, an important realization hit them all at the same moment far later than it should.

Five missed _a lot_. He'd really missed so much. Not only had he missed music, but he'd missed early social media, he'd missed MySpace and Facebook and blogs like LiveJournal where this song was shared and discussed and—Oh, _god!_ He'd missed YouTube, not just early YouTube but _current_ YouTube. He'd missed so much more than any of them truly had time to realize.

Two weeks after the apocalypse, they considered getting him a smartphone but it had yet to happen. Re-acclimating to life after their recent adventures with their newly returned brother meant major adjustments for everyone and getting Five into 2019 technology had been a priority, but a low priority compared to buying Five actual clothes and figuring out how to go about his existence in 2019 when he was declared legally dead. As they exchanged looks, each of the adult-bodied Hargreeves siblings all knew how they'd be spending the next month—if not longer.

"It's a song," said Luther, breaking the silence, his _biggest brother mode_ activated.

"No shit!" snapped Five. "I've got that much, genius."

"It's a song by an artist called _Flo Rida_."

"You mean Florida?"

Diego guffawed and Allison snorted. Ben disappeared as Klaus suddenly found the sauce interesting again while his shoulders began to shake from poorly-stifled laughing.

Five bristled, "And just what is so funny?"

It's Vanya, _bless Vanya_ , who slipped onto a stool beside their youngest-oldest-smallest brother and tried to explain. "It's a take on Florida, yes, but it's spelled and pronounced, _Flo Rida_. He got really popular just after Ben died. _Low_ is the name of the song and it was played all the time on radio stations and TV shows and online. It was really popular."

"So much so that you all know it."

"Exactly. Do you want to hear the whole thing?" Vanya gave a sheepish look around at her siblings. "I'm sure one of us has it, right?"

The song began to play as Diego held up his phone. "I still work out to it sometimes. The lyrics don't strike me as your kind of thing, but just listen. You'll like it."

After listening to it twice, Five decided he found it " _palatable_ ", but he had questions. Vanya, Allison, Klaus, Luther, and Diego spent the next thirty minutes explaining Apple Bottom Jeans, Ugg Boots, and what it meant to get low. Then the room grew quiet when Klaus made a face and decided to point out something none of them had considered.

"Wait a tick. You guys...oh my goodness. Five?"

"What, Klaus?" asked Five.

His second most dramatic brother dropped his feet from the island and hopped off the counter. "Five, does this mean you don't know _Mr. Brightside_?"

"Mr. _Whom_?"

"Holy shit! And that means you missed _Hey Ya!_ too."

"Hey _what_?"

As the rest of the family made various expressions of disbelief and agreement, Diego opened the notes app on his phone. "Alright, we need to make a list."

"A list of what? I'm assuming they're songs?"

Klaus scoffed. "Only the best songs of those years. Fuck, Five, you don't even know who _3OH!3_ is. Y'know, _L-O-V-E's just another word I never learned to pronounce._ "

"Yes," answered Diego. "We need to make a list of every song you missed that was popular or we either loved, loved to hate, or think you'd like."

"Yes!"

Now Five was not only more confused, but beyond exasperated. "Why?"

"Because it's important," Diego said simply, as if this conversation wasn't one of the most ridiculous things Five had endured since his return.

Klaus clapped. "Ooh! Like required listening! You're school age now, old timer. You know, since we graciously spared you from middle school, the least you should do is complete this simple homework assignment."

"Yes!" said Allison, her face lighting up. "That's a great idea. The first part of your education is to listen to these songs and report back to us."

Vanya gave Five a small nod. "Five, it'll help if you know some of these songs. Sometimes they come up in references and sometimes we just like to sing them. I'm sure they've come up in some of the books you read in the apocalypse. Wouldn't it be nice if you knew what we and those books were talking about? Or maybe not nice, but it would be better than being confused or left out."

Five grumbled. Vanya had a point. He _had_ missed quite a bit, and seventeen years of songs was only the tip of the iceberg.

"So," began Luther. His lips pulled into a hopeful smile. "Is that a yes?"

"Fine," said Five. "I'll listen."

He didn't know it was possible to make all his siblings look so happy at the same time. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

"I have an old iPod," said Allison. "Well, a few actually. I'll add the songs to playlists and you can listen to them on those. It's a bit more analog than a smartphone, so we can ease you into one. I think I still have an iHome here I hid from dad, so I'll leave one of the iPods on that, and give one to you to listen. Okay, Five?"

Oddly enough, Five knew what an iPod was. He'd come across a _Technology for Seniors_ book in the library remnants. An iPod was one of the more interesting things he'd read about considering when he'd warped away Klaus was going to great lengths to hide his portable CD player from Reginald. Five remembered thinking about his siblings and how much all of them would love an iPod and imagined them with one, but ended the reverie because he'd started to cry and Delores had to tell him it was okay at least twenty times before he calmed down.

"Five?"

The Boy refocused his attention on his waiting family. They were there, safe, free of apocalypses, and waiting to shower him with music and iPods. He nodded. "Yeah. I mean, that's okay by me."

"Great!" piped Allison, her beam growing exponentially as she turned to the leather-clad man beside her. "Diego, how should we list them, by year?"

Diego hummed. "Maybe by year. We might also separate it out by noise level and songs that have loud, sudden noises. I don't know about you, but some songs with sirens and gunshots take me off guard if I'm not expecting them to come up next or if I forget they're in there."

"That's a great idea. We don't want to trigger him."

Luther nodded along. "Yeah, and maybe we can all make our own lists but also make a few together?"

"Sounds like a solid plan."

"Can we add _The Pretender_ by Foo Fighters? Oh, and _Home_? I kinda lived on that song on the moon whenever I got a little depressed."

"Wait," said Allison, "which _Home_? There's like ten good songs with that name."

" _Home_ ," Luther sang, cautious, before growing a little more confident. " _Let me come home._ _Home is wherever I'm with you_."

Diego smiled despite himself. "Consider it added, big guy."

Klaus chose that moment to be utterly himself. Waving a wooden spoon covered in sauce in the air, he sang, " _Said I'll always be a friend, took an oath_ —"

Five sputtered on his coffee as Allison and Vanya cried, _Klaus!_ in disapproval.

"What?"

"If you're going to sing, sing something else," suggested Vanya. "Literally anything else."

"Like what?" Klaus frowned. After a moment he perked up, singing, " _My humps! My hump, my hump, my humps!_ " The alarmed expression on Five's face made him course-correct. "Maybe not. Hmm, I know! _Bite that tattoo on your shoulder! Pull the sheets right off the corner of the mattress that you stole from your roommate back in Boulder—_!" he stopped when Five's face contorted even further and cleared his throat. "It's...another song."

"Yeah." Five rolled his eyes. "I figured. Allison, I changed my mind, I don't want to hear what I've missed. It sounds like chaos."

"Hey, um, did I ever tell you about the time I actually stole a mattress from a roommate? It wasn't in Boulder, but he definitely felt like one."

Luther ran a hand over his face. " _Klaus..._ "

" _Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman. Maybe—_ "

"Klaus," sighed Allison. "You could've picked any other Fall Out Boy song."

"I know, but that's the song you modeled with in that commercial for those shoes."

"Don't remind me."

"Plus, they have so many, same with that Panic! at the Disco. _What a beautiful wedding! What a beautiful wedding says a bridesmaid to a waiter!_ "

"Christ!" said Five. He blinked over to the coffee maker and started a new pot. "I haven't had enough to drink for this. Is that...all one song?"

"No," Diego said, casting a look at his lankiest brother. "Klaus, I'll add your ideas to the list if you stop singing."

Klaus gave a loud sigh.

"I take that as an agreement."

"Fine! Here I am cooking out of the kindness of my heart and you can't even let me sing. So selfish! Ben says you all are no fun."

Ben, who'd been sitting both quiet and corporeal for the last ten minutes admiring his siblings in the Absolute Moment™ they were having, waved. "Uh, Klaus, I'm right here. Pretty sure I didn't say that."

"I know what your thoughts said!"

"Bullshit."

Diego shook his head at Klaus with a chuckle. "I'm _do-re-mi-fa-so fucking done with you_."

"Add that one!" piped Vanya with Allison overlapping in agreement.

All eyes shifted to the sisters. Vanya gave a sheepish shrug while Allison returned the alarmed expressions with a look that screamed _what?_

"I'll admit, Vanya was the last person I expected to know that song," said Diego with a lift of his eyebrows. He typed _do re mi_ under _I Write Sins Not Tragedies_. "When Patch and I broke up the first time, I had that song on repeat."

Klaus laughed. "I, for one, am not at all surprised. Our sweet littlest sister has proven to be like a Rubik's cube, so many sides and colors, complex and wonderful...She knows all the words, don't you, Vany?"

Vanya began to smile. "Maybe."

"That is amazing," said Luther, simply. "I...yeah, I've got nothing."

"I..." she looked down at her hands then sang, " _bet you didn't know that I was dangerous._ "

Allison looked at Vanya with pride. Five gave a smirk of amusement over his mug. Luther visibly flinched and reached a hand out for Diego's arm, his eyes not moving from their littlest sister. Diego shrugged him off as Klaus broke the tension with a squeal that made everyone start.

He tossed the spoon on the counter, singing, " _It must be fate! I found a place for us!_ " He ran over to Vanya and squished her cheeks. "I _bet you didn't know someone could love you this much._ "

Vanya laughed, giving into a sloppy hug that followed and the kisses that Klaus planted on the top of her head.

"Klaus!" Diego snapped. "What the hell did I just say?"

"But Vany!" Klaus clutched his sister to his chest, arm draped over her shoulder, stroking her face with the back of his Hello hand. "I couldn't leave my baby sister twisting in the wind like a pair of Luther's skid-marked underwear."

The cackle that Diego gave only enhanced the pout of disbelief on their biggest brother's face. Luther's shoulders sagged, "That was one time. We were seven."

"Eleven," Five corrected, sending Diego deeper into his fit.

"It's not that funny!"

" _History_ ," Ben waved his hand, "and _Story of My Life_ by One Direction. Those are musts."

Klaus stood upright, palm flat against his chest. "Ben...I didn't think you were listening when I had those songs on repeat."

He offered a small nod in response and faced Five. "Five, I love those songs but I really think you'd appreciate them too. If you don't, that's okay. I just feel like you really need to listen to those."

Five seemed to accept Ben's suggestion more warmly than the others, offering his brother a genuine smile. "Thanks, Ben."

"We can listen together if you're up for it."

"I'd like that."

"Add Alicia Keys," Allison said. "Specifically _No One_."

Diego nodded, "Already there. I put her entire 2003 album and _Songs in A-Minor_."

"Oh, my god. Yes, one hundred percent."

Ben moved to look over their shoulders, nodding in approval before singing, " _Some people want it all, but I don't want nothing at all..._ "

" _If I ain't got you_ —"

"Five would like _Let's Kill Tonight_ ," said Vanya. "Add that one."

"Yes!" Klaus kissed Vanya's cheek, "My darling sister, you're on fire. We need to share playlists." He waved his hand at Diego. "Add it, add it, add it! Five's not the ordinary type."

Luther snorted. 

"Hold on!" Diego's thumbs continued to work across the keyboard. "I'm going as fast as I can. I'm adding Bulletproof, too." 

Vanya lit up at the suggestion. "That's a classic! _This time, baby, I'll be bulletproof..."_

"Yes! Oh, add _If You Seek Amy_ ," Allison said. "Majorly underrated."

"More like overrated."

"Diego!"

" _No one is telling me the speed I should be traveling so watch me take the lead!_ "

"Klaus!"

"Oh, come on, that's another theme song for our Fivey-Five." 

Five set down the coffee pot. "Hey, Allison? How soon can you get the iPod?"

"Oh! Um, I can have my assistant overnight them?" Allison suggested. "I think probably by tomorrow or the day after at the latest."

"Good."

With that, Five grabbed his book and blinked away to the sitting room as the sounds of his siblings bickering and singing about fireflies resonated through the halls.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! There are too many songs I left out that could have been included in this. Below are the songs and albums mentioned. You can also find the playlist “Acoustic - TUA fic” on Spotify. 
> 
> Songs:  
> 1\. Low - Flo Rida  
> 2\. Mr. Brightside - The Killers  
> 3\. Starstruckk - 3OH!3  
> 4\. The Pretender - Foo Fighters  
> 5\. Home - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros  
> 6\. Umbrella - Rihanna  
> 7\. My Humps - Black Eyed Peas  
> 8\. Closer - The Chainsmokers feat. Halsey  
> 9\. Grand Theft Autumn/Where is Your Boy - Fall Out Boy  
> 10\. I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic! at the Disco  
> 11\. do re mi - blackbear  
> 12\. Dangerous (feat. Joywave) - Big Data, Joywave  
> 13\. History - One Direction  
> 14\. Story of My Life - One Direction  
> 15\. No One - Alicia Keys  
> 16\. If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys  
> 17\. Let's Kill Tonight - Panic! at the Disco  
> 18\. Bulletproof - La Roux  
> 19\. If You Seek Amy - Britney Spears  
> 20\. Do What You Do - Cute Is What We Aim For  
> 21\. Fireflies - Owl City
> 
> Albums:  
> Songs in A - Minor - Alicia Keys  
> The Diary of Alicia Keys - Alicia Keys


End file.
